for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My vagina is officially offended.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
