i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
