I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
