Welp...herpes.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
