when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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