one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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