we have officially lost it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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