i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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