I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
time to smoke my breakfast
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
