my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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