This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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