Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
