with your own penis?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
