i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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