so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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