He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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