It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
