And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
