You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
