FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
