why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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