I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She even gives head with a lisp.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
