i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
