First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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