you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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