so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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