It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
