There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
