we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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