And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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