STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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