But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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