He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
