But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
