Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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