he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
