i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he puts the penis in happiness.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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