I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
