This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
