he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
