You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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