My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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