JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
