There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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