So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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