I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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