Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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