so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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