I murdered the dance floor call the cops
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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