he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize